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Relationship Problems (Issues)
Every relationship can have problems, big and small. Although the human mind tends to think that something is wrong when faced with a problem, having problems in our relationships does not mean that the relationship is unhealthy. As long as the parties to the relationship approach the problems rationally and want to solve them together, the relationship will continue in a healthy way.
When we think of relationships, the first thing that comes to mind is romantic relationships. Problems with partners in romantic relationships are often more upsetting or disturbing than problems in other relationships. Of course, this varies from person to person. For some people, problems in family or friendships may take up more space in their lives.
Considering the differences between people, it would be appropriate to talk about friendship, family, and romantic relationships under the general heading of relationships and to talk specifically about them when appropriate.
Since not every relationship problem is a very bad sign and problems have their place in countless types of relationships, let's explore the definition of relationships and the types of relationship problems together.
What is a Relationship?
A relationship can be defined as a dynamic of emotional, physical, social, and material exchange between two or more people. Relationships are dynamic in their constantly changing and interactive nature.
Many changes and developments in life, in addition to the effects they have on people, are of great concern and affect the dynamic structure that develops between people. When there are changes that we cannot control, relationships are also negatively affected in various ways.
There are many areas where relationship problems can arise:
- Communication Problems
- Being inflexible
- Not helping each other in the relationship
- Respect Problems
- Making Space Problem
- Sexuality and intimacy problems
- Lack of trust
- Personal problems
- Denying that problems exist
Communication Problems in Relationships
Communication is one of the first areas where problems in relationships manifest themselves. This is because what actually constitutes the relationship between two people is the communication they establish in the first place and the communication languages and forms they develop between them, which include many emotional and physical elements.
Communicating effectively includes many important elements, such as knowing each other and themselves, using words correctly and effectively, having empathy and tolerance, having the ability to approach criticism openly and without prejudice, and using body language well in addition to verbal language.
In this case, it is possible that individuals in the relationship dynamics may experience communication problems due to reasons such as not communicating effectively, waiting for the other party to understand instead of solving many things through effective communication, not being honest in their feelings and thoughts, not thinking before speaking, not being a good listener, etc.
Another reason for communication problems can be that instead of being constructive about the problems that are actually in the relationship, we can be destructive and accusatory by using very negative expressions.
When you have a problem, taking the following approaches will make it even more intractable and complicated instead of solving it:
- Saying "I am uncomfortable with you" instead of "I am uncomfortable with this situation or this behavior"
- Taking an attitude by directly cutting off communication instead of constructively sharing the problem and the feelings and thoughts that the problem arouses
- When there is a problem, blaming instead of considering that both parties contributed to the problem
- Saying "Come on, you're wrong, and you have to solve the problems," instead of cooperating and approaching it such as, "We're both wrong, and let's solve the problem together"
These wrong approaches can add to the problem. Verbal or non-verbal communication between two people with simple physical and emotional expressions can save or worsen the relationship.
Inflexibility in Relationship
In fact, an environment is needed for communication problems to manifest themselves. It is the fact that people stand in the face of the expectations and wishes of the other party and do not compromise their own expectations and wishes, perhaps even their rules and principles.
We don't always have to agree with each other and see life from the same perspective in romantic, friendship, and family relationships. However, it is important to be flexible in line with the value we place on the person we are in a relationship with in order to keep our relationship at a healthier point, but people are often focused on protecting their own interests. So, they are not flexible. Being flexible and cooperating where there is a conflict of interest can be ways of reducing the problems between the parties in the relationship.
Not Cooperating in a Relationship
Everyone in life has a lot to keep up with. Especially nowadays, people are too busy juggling home, work, and relationships to even have time for their hobbies. Failure to cooperate within the relationship we are in is becoming a threat to both the relationship and our individual lives. For example, in a marital relationship where both spouses work, they should help each other with household chores and lighten each other's burden.
As with communication and flexibility, it is important not to fall into a conflict of interest by sacrificing ourselves, and to be aware that the other person is also human and may not be able to keep up with some issues. Failure to take this into account will cause problems. After all, if we are not going to help each other in life, why are we social beings, and why are we so insistent on building a common life?
The Problem of Respect in Relationships
In general, we build our relationships around love. When we meet or start spending time together, love and liking are the main positive emotions that arise between two people. In fact, when we think about romantic relationships, you know that when it comes to an intense set of emotions like love, the positive emotions go through the roof, and we don't even consider any negative traits.
Does the fact that we love each other very much and are happy and excited to spend time with each other and be together require us to respect each other? It doesn't, but it can be a reason. People who know and love each other very closely may feel more comfortable interfering with each other's opinions, actions, or preferences. At some point, this behavior leads to a lack of respect for the other person's choices.
Respect does not mean not meeting on common ground and not taking each other's views when necessary. Respect and showing respect start with recognizing that the other person may have boundaries. However, when people are in a relationship, they may think that most boundaries disappear and they become one. It is important to recognize that this is not a healthy pattern and can cause problems in the relationship.
The Problem of Creating Private Spaces in Relationships
In fact, today, this problem goes hand in hand with the lack of respect. When we don't respect each other, we enter each other's boundaries and even private spaces.
We have to admit that when you have a romantic partner or your best and closest friend in the world, they don't become one person in different bodies. Every human being needs private space. They may need to spend time alone, to see people other than the person they are in a close relationship with, to do different activities, to not tell and share everything that happens, and to keep some things to themselves.
We can create a long list of what private spaces are; in fact, there is a different structure for everyone, but the common thing about all private spaces is that everyone needs them.
If you and the people you are in a relationship with do not give each other private spaces or if you interfere with the private spaces that the parties have created for themselves and you always feel that you have to do things together, you may have a problem with creating private spaces. This can have negative consequences in the future as a relationship problem.
Problems with Sexuality and Intimacy in Relationships
Sexuality in romantic relationships and intimacy in all relationships are important issues. You may have heard many rules written and drawn about sexuality in romantic relationships. Patterns such as you should have sex this many times a week, you should have orgasms, you should fantasize may be familiar to you.
Not all couples have to have sex the same number of times and for the same duration, nor do they have to have sex in a similar way. However, the most important issue here is the compatibility of the partners.
We can be talking about healthy sexuality at a point where your interests, expectations, and desires match, or even if they don't, where you communicate what you need and prioritize each other's satisfaction. Otherwise, sexuality in the relationship can also become a problem.
In romantic relationships, as well as all other types of relationships, it is important to establish intimacy and to reflect that you are in close contact with each other. The meaning of intimacy is different for everyone, and having a similar understanding of intimacy with those you are in a family or friendship relationship with, even if you do not necessarily like the same things, will make relationships healthier.
Lack of Trust in Relationships
Trust is one of the indispensable parameters in all relationships. When we start a relationship, in order to trust, we need to get to know the other person and, through the process of getting to know them, form certain assumptions about them. If trust is still a problem as the relationship progresses, there are two factors to consider:
- Do you have difficulty trusting people?
- Does the other person have difficulty building trust?
In fact, in both cases, there is a problem that concerns both parties. A person who does not trust you even though they do not trust you can also have a negative impact on the relationship, or if you do not provide the other party with the trust they deserve and keep them on their toes, this can also be a negative situation. Trust issues are serious matters that need to be resolved by reaching a compromise between the parties or by getting support.
Personal Problems in the Relationship
Relationship problems do not only occur within the relationship. Individuals may also have personal problems in their own lives. Because of the individual difficulties caused by personal problems, these problems can also cause problems in relationships. If there is a situation that seriously affects the relationship, it is important to get support from your friends, partner, or family, as well as expert support, in order to establish a healthy relationship.
The Problem of Denying a Problem in a Relationship
In fact, when all the problems listed in an item are evaluated in relation to each other, they can be divided into sub-items and varied. However, one of the biggest problems is not accepting and rejecting them despite all the problems. Without accepting that there is a problem, it will not be possible to work on it and try to fix it.
Relationship Problem Solving
All of the problems mentioned above can be solved in certain ways. For example, if you are experiencing communication problems, you can improve yourself to communicate effectively and prefer to discuss the problems with the other party or get help from an expert. However, when you think that there is no problem, it will not be possible to create space for a solution or to look for a solution, and the problems that can be solved may affect your relationships more negatively and put them in a vicious cycle.
If the people living in the relationship do not notice this situation, perhaps their relatives will notice and warn them or draw their attention to this issue. We can say that listening to these warnings and taking action is the most beneficial way because even psychotherapy is a relationship that can be started with individuals who come voluntarily, while problems will continue to exist in two-way relationships without a desire and effort to solve them.
You can get psychological counseling from expert online therapists at Hiwell Online Psychological Counseling to build a judgment-free relationship that will bring you one step closer to solving your relationship problems!